Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
