she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
