i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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