Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You dont lie about slip and slides
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
