Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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