i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize