white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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