just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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