i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
