Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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