okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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