i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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