can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
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I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
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So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.