I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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