your room smells of hookers.
And success
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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