pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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