it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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