it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
