i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
