well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
if i died would you start the facebook group?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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