Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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