Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
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