then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
