Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
