There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
