I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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