Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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