i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
