i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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