she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
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