im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
