At least make sure they are 18
Why
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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