We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize