omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
