walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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