erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
it was like eating out sand paper
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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