It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
