So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
