Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
