I like my sex mixed with concussions.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
