I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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