whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
