Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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