We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
