Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
