I look better un-naked...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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