i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
