she looked like the bat from fern gully.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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