Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
