apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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