Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
