Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize