I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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