Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
