So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize