17 year olds will be the death of me.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
