I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize