I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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