im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
