He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
