I can text with my tongue
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
